Jeffassociates

Jeffassociates
Homos and heteros welcome.

Friday, May 03, 2002

Saw Spider-Man today. Kirsten Dunst smuggles some serious peas. That alone is worth the price of admission. Well, that and the scene where Tobey Maguire jerks off.

Thursday, May 02, 2002

5:30 already.
What are you gonna do?
Not too much is going on here in Frisco.
Gotta pooh.

Wednesday, May 01, 2002

Whoops, it's already 4:30 pm. I guess not much of a post today. I'm staying at my parents right now, and their computer is in their bedroom so either one of them could come barging in here right now. I'd have start closing windows in a hurry to cover my tracks and pull my cock out of my pants and tell them that I was looking at pornography rather than let them discover the secret shame that is this site. It would kill them if they discovered that the stains on the walls and floors throughout their house, the ones that they've been asking me about for years, were not in fact created by sandwiches overloaded with mayonaisse. I'll sneak in some more words when I can.

Tuesday, April 30, 2002

Reminder: I'm going out of town tomorrow so the posts won't be up first thing in the morning, but hopefully they'll be equally as erotic. Continue below for today's entry.

The Sexy Stranger

A review of The Stranger by Albert Camus
(Warning! Spoilers below!)

Talk about a goofy book! The narrator makes with this chick named Marie, and from the sound of it, she's a pretty tight piece of ass with a capital "A." They do it two or three times throughout the course of the book which isn't bad considering it's only 154 pages long. My big complaint is that the narrator never describes in detail their sexploits, but you can assume that they cover all the basics: ass work, standing 69, blood play, etc. Then he goes and kills some dude just because the sun's too bright. Your first thought is, "What a crazy fuck," but maybe he did it because he heard about the hot gay sex that goes on in Algerian prisons. He never explicitly mentions anything about being gay, but who's never had those thoughts, right? I think that's what writers call "implying." Or maybe it's "inferring." I can't remember. I learned those words back in the 6th grade. Who thought I'd ever have to use them again? Anyway, there are some other characters in the book, too, but I can't tell you much about them because I was pretty much just scanning the pages and searching for some more hot sex. There's this one old dude with a dog, and I totally thought that they were gonna do it, and by "it" I mean hot man/dog love, but "it" never happened. I bet that was the critique that Camus got the most when The Stranger was first published.

"Hey, Camus, I just got through The Stranger."
"Oh yeah? What'd you think?"
"Not bad, but the old man and the dog..."
"You thought they were gonna do it, right?"
"Yeah."
"Goddamn it. I swear I'm gonna fix that in the second printing."

So the book's really not bad as long as you've got a good imagination and can think of some sequel ideas in which the old man an the dog finally go at it. The end.

Monday, April 29, 2002

I fixed the image link on today's post.

I fixed the image link on today's post.

Well, I lied about giving you one long story this week. I didn't get around to writing anything over the weekend so today's is just another regular post. However, I have added links to the "Gayest of J|a" for the new readers. It's a good way to catch up on some of my funniest shit without having to sift through the filler posts that I produce 90% of the time. You know the ones I'm talking about. They're generally the ones that are loaded with the word "cock."

I don't try hard enough not to come off looking like a total retard. Is this something that others have to monitor consciously and constantly? I'm certain that's the only way that I'm going to escape giving people that impression. Exhibit A. While sporting a look worthy of Corky from "Life Goes On", I'm dancing the absolute best I can and obviously not thinking about whether the other wedding guests are wondering, "Who is the guardian of the spastic retarded man, and why aren't they keeping him restrained?" I've been told that my dancing has been both "amazing" and "retard-like" which brings to mind how Andy Warhol once described someone as fascinating "because you absolutely couldn't tell if he was a genius or a retard." He very well may have been speaking of me.

Another high school memory: once back in art history class, a classmate's jab at my expense illicited a room full of laughter and the cry of a more compassionate student thougtfully pointing out, "That's not very nice. Isn't he retarded?"

Not that I have anything against retards. In fact, I have great empathy for the them despite their natural tendencies towards unspeakable acts of violence. As long as you keep your distance and avoid eye contact they're beautiful people, but you can understand why I don't want to be mistaken for one. I'm convinced that this is why I never see any pussy. Never.

This is curious.

/archives

Gayest of J | a:
  UPS and Cum
  Kiddie Sex
  My Big Trunk
  For the Ladies

DJ | a:
  V

J | a Reading:
  How to Win Friends...

Friends of J | a:
  Eric Associates
  DaveAssociates
  Yum!